Friday, October 20, 2006

north korean sanctions

The luxury-goods sanctions have some strong possibilities. While they won't stop him from getting drugs and weapons out, it'll at least make it harder to get Kim's favorite yummies in. Imagine some poor slob schlepping through the airport with a diplomatic bag of melting ice and restive lobsters ... the bag tips and a few grams from the half-kilo of meth spills (it was supposed to be going out, but the courier "mislaid" one) ... thus fortified, the lobsters snap the rubber bands on their claws, slash their way to freedom and tear through the airport, leaving behind them screaming children and a vacationing Maine fisherman with a mangled left ankle ... the lobsters present themselves at the American embassy, claiming to have been kidnapped to serve the regime ... the lobsters begin filling out the political asylum forms but get stymied at the part where they must declare they are not addicted to dangerous drugs ... but by then the meth high is wearing off ... the ambassador makes a phone call to his wife, then helps them complete the forms ... and thus these new American citizens are transported to the ambassador's residence, where they are promptly thrown into a pot of boiling water... the Korean courier loses his job and has to go back to drinking grain tea with his tree bark...

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