Thursday, June 07, 2007

success makes me sad

Even though P and I are having fun and excitement whomping them, there's an terrible emptiness to it, so much that even with P tearing at today's catch on my glove, I had a sudden desire to give him away and hang it all up, not just for the season but forever.

She would have gotten a kick out of it, the misses, the hits, even the scary driving. But she's not with me to share it. She would have run the camcorder, as she did quite a lot with S -- she was quite steady and could sense when the bird was really going to leave the glove or T-perch. She would have tossed the bird out the passenger window for me. In some ways she had a better sense for falconry than did I because she'd had "real" pets, like dogs and cats, as a kid. (I got stuck with goldfish, hamsters and parakeets because my parents didn't want anything bigger.)

We learned it together. She didn't want the license or the responsibility of her own bird, and was happy to enjoy it vicariously. It wasn't really vicarious, anyway; she interacted with the hawks just as much as did I. The hunting part was less interesting to her, but we made a pair that could give a hawk a good time.

Man, I miss her.

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