Sunday, August 12, 2007

passage 2

The hollowness grew. Intellectually, Diana knew she was feeding it: her phone deliberately left on a table slowly discharging, a string of appointments canceled due to tiredness, her computer full of searches for answers to crossword puzzles that she never completed. The company of women had always bored her. In men she found more camaraderie and individuals she could deem friends rather than acquaintances, but she maintained a thoroughly platonic demeanor on the grounds that she would not debase herself by “throwing herself” at one.

When asked, she was always “fine,” but she hungered for a touch, a smile beyond the professional, required smiles she saw daily. Somewhere along the way, the ground gave out beneath her, taking her guts and heart with it, and everything stopped mattering.

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