Tuesday, August 25, 2009

the chantix is almost perfect

I haven't smoked for a week now. I've been taking .5mg/day for 10 days and, because it gives me problems sleeping, plan to stay there. (I was supposed to step up to 1mg a week ago, and 2mg 4 days ago, but if it keeps working at .5mg there's no reason to do more.)

The only side effect I get is really crummy sleep. I should count myself lucky, since I could be having anxiety, headaches, nausea, suicidal ideas, and/or a "potentially fatal" rash. Instead I can't get to sleep till midnight, wake up at 3am for an hour or so, and wake up at 5:30 am, sometimes getting back to sleep, sometimes not.

However, I don't seem to feel the lost sleep much. I might nap an hour or two once or twice a week. By the numbers, it doesn't make up for the loss, but it seems to be all I need. It could be the meditation I've been doing for the past couple months, could be the dopamine makes me feel the loss less.

In any case, it's worth it to not be smoking. The drug has made it incredibly easy to pass on the urge. They tell you urges only last a few minutes, and while this is true, it just isn't that simple. I get beset by urges: the first I could pass on, but urges would keep coming every 5-10 minutes, until I gave in. With the Chantix, the first urge goes away easily, and subsequent urges (if they come at all) are noticeably weaker.

I plan to do the full 12 week course (though as I said at a low dosage) and hopefully at the end of it I will have built new habits and will have enough groundwork laid that it becomes something in itself, not to be destroyed.

The standard warning label:
Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX to help them quit smoking. Some people had these symptoms when they began taking CHANTIX, and others developed them after several weeks of treatment or after stopping CHANTIX. If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away. Also tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems before taking CHANTIX, as these symptoms may worsen while taking CHANTIX.

Some people can have serious skin reactions while taking CHANTIX, some of which can become life-threatening. These can include rash, swelling, redness, and peeling of the skin. Some people can have allergic reactions to CHANTIX, some of which can be life-threatening and include: swelling of the face, mouth, and throat that can cause trouble breathing. If you have these symptoms or have a rash with peeling skin or blisters in your mouth, stop taking CHANTIX and get medical attention right away.

The most common side effects include nausea (30%), sleep problems, constipation, gas, and/or vomiting. If you have side effects that bother you or don't go away, tell your doctor.

You may have trouble sleeping, vivid, unusual or strange dreams while taking CHANTIX. Use caution driving or operating machinery until you know how CHANTIX may affect you.

Monday, August 24, 2009

my low rent espresso setup

Left to right:
Gaggia grinder (used, $120)
stainless steel tamper
plastic ice cream lid to protect from tamping dents in the wood (a little too late already)
homemade knockbox (plastic storage box, 6" bolt, 1/4" aquarium tubing)
Silvia holding up import-store-$1.50-each latte cups
stainless steel steaming pitcher from the old espresso kit

I just received a "new" steaming tip from Chris's Coffee Service. I just could not microfoam to save my life with the 3-hole tip, so the techs sent me a single-hole. I screwed it on and instantly produced a nice batch of microfoam, which eventually led to a falconer's latte: jack in the cup.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

could anyone possibly fall for this?

A bit of phishing spam I got this morning at my hotmail account. I count at least a dozen grammatical and formatting errors you would never see in any business letter. And a proper phisher would at least have the name of their website obfuscated in some way. Which all goes to show that criminals are generally stupider than average people.

Dear Member.

We Here at Microsoft inc (MSN, Verizon, X-Box Live, MSN Live, Hotmail, Quest, And other services we provide.), are sorry to inform you that we are having problem's with the billing information on your account. We would appreciate it if you would go to our website and fill out the proper information that we need to keep you as an member.Please Update your account information by visiting our updates web site below.


James Brady.
Microsoft Updates Center
Account Team.

We do hope to continue doing business with you...

Friday, August 21, 2009

yeah, a little late to notice, but...

I mailed everything off in late May but haven't yet received my license. California has cashed my check, but the feds haven't (ain't online banking terrific?) Phone call placed...

Sunday, August 09, 2009

not sure which is best.

The Evelyn Lundberg Counseling Agency (Prairie Home Companion)

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

just about at the happy ending

I went through this earlier this year. I've been in love purgatory for quite a while, moving forward yet never able to fully let go.

But now she's coming back, and for good. Finally, she is absolutely certain she will never go back to him.

There will be a transition period while she ends her connection to her ex. (Personally, I wish she didn't care so much that she needs to do that, but if she must in order to be at peace, I won't stop her.) We've half resumed what we started, but once she's defined terms with him, we'll be completely free.

Although her words in the past couple weeks were the same as all the times she'd failed to follow through, I sensed she was really serious this time in a way I cannot name. I can't explain it: I slept well and rarely felt anxious. Those who believe in the psychic would probably say we're connected. Those who do not would say I just didn't believe her anymore, that I had finally learned to pay attention to deeds, not words.

It's a happy end. I'm in a bit of shock, but the same kind you feel when your lottery ticket comes up with all the right numbers. Monday, she said just about everything I'd wanted her to say, and it was so complete and definite that Tuesday I wasn't sure I had dreamed the whole thing...

Some folks here know what I've been through. They cannot be thanked enough for their sympathy, advice, and good thoughts.